So last month, I wrote a genuine and heartfelt blog post about my mom, Mo Dougherty, who would have turned 90 in the month of May, 2020.

Today, on this memorial Day, I have seen many videos of all the wars America has fought, including World war II and the Korean conflict. My father, (John) Jack Dougherty, fought in  World War II in the Pacific theater on the Shangri-La, as well as the Korean conflict. Next month he will turn 93 years old, and though he rarely speaks, he is still important to me.

There are many battles my father has had to fight, from his upbringing in Philadelphia and Neshaminy, Pennsylvania with no running water, to the battles of World War II in Korea, to raising four boys and having to deal with the death of two of them and a third as a burn survivor.

After the war, my father graduated from LaSalle College in 1958, making me a legacy since I graduated from the same school in 1982. But while many of my friends attend college, my father’s path involved quitting high school early, serving in war, getting a GED, and then returning to school on the GI Bill while working full time for the Social Security Administration.

As much as my father served in wars, his greatest battles were much more personal. When I turn 12, he quit smoking. No patch, no therapy, he just quit because he didn’t want me to smoke, and I’m glad to say I have never even tried a cigarette.

However, the greatest battle in my father’s life has been with addiction to alcohol. Like any wars, there are casualties and survival, while noble, still has consequences. I think it’s safe to say that he lost a family, a marriage, and many friends as the side effects of this addiction, but he still survived. He has been in recovery for about 40 years, and has needed to isolate in order to survive. There were many years before I understood what his battle was that I wrote him off and out of my life. I am happy to say that this is no longer the case, and that I have realized that it has required incredible courage and persistence to be in recovery for so long and to live with the guilt that must go along with this addiction.

Given that my father is 93, I will someday be asked to give my fifth eulogy. It is my intent to not just start with his service to the country during World war II in Korea, but his achievements overcoming incredible obstacles of addiction to both cigarettes and alcohol.

So after many years, I can genuinely say that the master puppeteer is no longer with us. He has been replaced by the  hero who is my father.

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My father passed away in 2021 just after his 94th birthday, and I did give that fifth eulogy. I found many photos, and it was nice that so many family and friends came back to support us and celebrate the life of my father. He was laid to rest with his parents at our Lady of great cemetery near where he grew up in Langhorne Pennsylvania.

Today is March 2nd, 2025, as I discovered this post in my drafts folder. I also realize now that as the country slides slowly into fascism, for the sake of my family and my country, I have to find a way to rise up somehow despite the obstacles and be the hero I need.